The scorpion catch and release program…
Dec 19th, 2011 by admin
…didn’t turn out so well. I think the scorpions realized that they’d found a soft-hearted sucker and then invited all their buddies over. I’m even beginning to think they may have left scorpion hobo graffiti at the entrance to the house .
The catch and release program was supposed to encourage the scorpions to re-locate… not come back and invite their friends!
Now, I’m going to have to get a chicken. An indoor chicken. An indoor chicken that can fend off Mr. Doughnuts… And, do you know what it means to have an indoor chicken?
It means putting diapers on it. Chicken diapers. I strongly encourage you to read this FAQ about chicken diapers. You will finally know what “Japanese Bantam with low rider legs” means!
Oy!
An indoor, diaper wearing, scorpion eating, cat fighting, chicken is clearly the ONLY solution for my failed experiment! How could this possibly go wrong?
Or, I guess I could institute the “Bi-pedal Foot Stomp Program” and use a shoe to dispatch the life force from these stinging predatory arthropods
But killing such an interesting animal is such a shame! According to wikipedia, “…scorpions can survive long periods when deprived of food; some are able to survive 6 to 12 months of starvation… And [thankfully!!] Scorpions excrete very little.”
And the sad thing about my inability to get along with the scorpions is that we share many characteristics! We’re both photophobic and glow in black lights!!
